The Irony of Life
by Astrothium
Summary: L always thought he would be the son of Athena. But he didn't look anything like her. He was emotionless, calm, and collected, at all times. He was a brilliant thinker, and an amazing at strategical things. He even beat Yagami Raito in his little game of justice. But now, looking at the symbol above his head, he wondered how in the world it all started. (T just in case)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

L looked down and sighed. Finally having caught Kira, Watari had died. Now he was back at solving boring cases again. He had loved the thrill of the challenge that Kira, or Yagami Raito, had given him. But everything was now once again, extremely boring. None of the cases caught his interest, but he solved a few of the harder ones. Speaking of Watari, he needed someone to be able to contact the outside world... but whom? He needed someone who he could trust, not from Wammy's house though, because all of those were going to be the future leading police force. He needed someone that one wouldn't expect. He sighed, as he poked a toothpick into a strawberry, and ate it. It was officially boring again.

_Well, may as well enjoy cake while we're at it,_ he stared at the file of names in his hand.

Percy Jackson, a delinquent that ran away from home…? His mother went missing, and her boyfriend Gale's car was caught in a thunderstorm, and broke because it was struck by lightning. Struck by lightning? The chances of that were fairly low. L bit his thumb. A small case, but everyone seemed to be making a huge deal out of it. Kids ran away often. And if he met the step-father, Gabe, he'd bet that Gabe was some smelly idiot that played poker all day. Judging by the way Gabe spoke on the news; he seemed to hate the boy, despite the way he spoke about his wife, Sally Jackson. L sighed, and threw that case on the ground, ignoring it like the rest of the pile. He never gave it a second thought.

The next day, L ate cake, staring at new cases, and throwing them away, not even bothering trying. A sudden crash was heard in the floor beneath him. The case in his hand, holding it up, he stared an inch next to it, at the doorway in front of him, frozen. He was the only one here, there was no way that…. He spun his chair around, looking for anything. There was no way a normal robber would be able to infiltrate this building. Perhaps a bulldozer could. The crash was pretty loud.

As if on the cue, the white wall cracked, and burst open, dust and paint shards flying everywhere. L coughed, shook his head, getting rid of the white dust in his messy black hair. He looked at whatever came through. It was not a bulldozer. It was a human being. He looked at the face, unable to look at the eye. The face had two large scars on his lip, and he was wearing an, amazingly enough, oversized green T-shirt, with a sign that said "Monster Donuts."

Watari got all his food for him, so he did not know any food places. He had gigantic burly, tanned hands, with scars running over them, and long yellow fingernails, cracked and dirty. Covered in white dust, it was obvious, his burnt black baggy jeans were speckled in white. In a voice that sounded amazingly familiar, he said, "I have returned."

Unable to look further than the bridge of the nose, L replied, "Who are you?" he was calm, and collected, death was not a scary thought.

"Don't you remember me?" Watari asked. His voice sounded exactly like Watari's. Kind, one of the only true friends L ever had.

L tried looking beyond the bridge of his nose. He looked further, just beneath the eyes. Not eyes, eye. L stared at his large, blue eye, centered, where the other two eyes should be. Cyclops, but L didn't believe in Greek mythology. But it was a Cyclops, right in front of him.

"Who are you?" L asked, his empty black eyes, searching the room for anything. The alarms were sounding, loud and shrill. Sirens were heard outside of his building. The police force had come to help. But the Cyclops had just _run_ through an entire building. Guns, could they actually hurt the… thing?

The Cyclops whispered, "I haven't eaten a demi-god for… who knows how long?" his voice was gruff, not the Watari he knew. It was obviously excited.

L hadn't chosen a successor between Near and Mello, afraid of the BBLA case again, he didn't want to. But he couldn't just leave it at that.

_Making plans for your death already, are you? _ the small voice in his head said, _you've survived the Kira case, I'm pretty sure you could think your way out of this one. But that was a war of brains, when it comes to fighting…_

The last time the black haired boy had fought, was against Yagami. But Raito was a normal human being, and this was… a monster. L sighed, and looked at the cake shelf. May as well escape. L threw the cake at the Cyclops, aiming to blind him. It hit dead on, his eye. The plate broke. Next to him was a pile of plates, and more cake.

Throwing the plates like Frisbees, L tried to guide the Cyclops from the only exit. It yowled, and slammed into a glass case, containing more sweets. He threw one last cake, and ran over the broken rubble, looking a bit awkward, out.

L looked down the hall, finding that the Cyclops had simply walked through the walls. He sighed, and took the secret exit that was hidden in the wall. No time to get anything else.

Running down the stairs, L breathed hard, a bit dizzy from the sudden action and adrenalin. Crashes and stomps were heard in the floor above. He managed to get out, running into a bunch of police.

"HALT!" L was startled, and yellow tape was around him. All the police were pointing guns at him. L put his hands up.

"State your purpose and name!" L couldn't use an alias, because they would take him in for questioning. But he couldn't say his real name either. He could simply say he's L, but there was a two percent chance they'd believe him. But it wasn't like he had another choice. His vision blurred, the world turned upside down, and he collapsed on the ground, head hitting cement, not moving.

* * *

**(Change POV to L)**

I woke up, purple spots, danced in my vision. I was curled up on the side of a bed. I'd have to thank them later, for not putting me on my back. My back was ridiculous; it's unable to straighten, after sitting crouched at the computer, for years and years. I stared at what was in front of me. There was a girl, sitting beside me.

"Oh, you're awake," she said.

"How long have I been out for?" I asked.

"Several months,"

"How did you know I wasn't dead?"

"We thought you were, but then later, we found you were in a coma," the girl had stormy gray eyes, and long, golden locks, in a ponytail. Her hair was much more natural looking than Misa's, but she was much less stylish, a simple orange T-shirt that said "Camp Half-Blood." For a second, I wondered why I was comparing her to Misa, when I realized, she was the only girl I knew.

"Who are you?"

"Annabeth Chase," she replied simply, "you?"

Could I use… whatever, "You may call me Ryuuzaki."

"Here, drink some of this," she handed me a glass of blue liquid with ice cubes. At the moment, I was starving and would take anything.

I held the glass, and drank a small sip… it tasted like freshly baked cake, extremely warm. I stared at it.

"What is this?"

"Nectar," she replied.

"The drink of the gods," I finished, taking another gulp.

"You… know about Greek mythology?" she asked. I looked up at her, and took another sip. It was sweet, exactly how I liked it.

"Yes, I do," I replied.

"Well, I'm not sure how to break it to you, but it's all real,"

"Hmm…" I look up at her, her face showed that she didn't expect me to believe it, "makes sense."

She was taken aback, "So, you're just going to accept it, like that? Where do you come from?"

"Yes, I believe you. You don't appear to be lying, and I come from Japan," I stared at her. I had a knack of creeping people out, I found out when I went undercover, to school.

"Well, that helps, a lot," a man came in, on a wheelchair.

"He took it a lot better than I thought he would…" Annabeth told the newcomer. The newcomer looked like a wild man, long beard, and scraggly hair. But he looked nice enough, warm brown eyes.

"Depends on how much you're exposed to at an early life," he replied, understandingly at me, and Annabeth.

"Exposed at an early life?" I asked, staring at him, wondering.

"You ever had monsters attack you? Anything like that?"

"Well, no, I lived in an orphanage in England, for five years, then I became…" I stopped there. They couldn't know I was L.

"Which orphanage?" he asked.

"Whammy's House," I replied.

"Well, Watari was a satyr, a brilliant one, at that,"

I dropped the empty glass that had only ice cubes. It shattered on the floor, I was sitting up, staring at the man in a wheelchair.

"You knew Watari?" I asked, feeling panic well into my voice.

"Yes, I haven't introduced myself yet," the man replied, holding out his hand, "I'm Chiron."

I stared at his hand, not knowing what to do with it. Chiron was the centaur in Greek mythology, who taught the hero's.

"Oh, that explains a lot," he said, putting his hand down, "you are L, aren't you?"

I blinked in surprise, "how'd you know?"

"Watari told me about you," Chiron patted my head. I could only stare, "well, I'll leave you in Annabeth's care, for now," he left me hanging.

"Wait!" I called. He turned around, "Watari passed away, Kira killed him."

"That's a shame. We will have to burn a shroud for him." Chiron replied, wheeling off into the distance.

"Japan, eh? That's pretty far away…" Annabeth brought my thoughts back.

"Yes," I was staring at the door in which he left from, "yeah, it is."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm very uninspired to write my other stories so far, and I don't feel very well on how this story is gonna turn out, but I'm gonna update anyways.**

Chapter 2

It was a dream, very realistic, yet blurry at that. L saw his very own death before him. It was quite simple, eating a piece of chocolate, and Raito ran out to carry him, he held L in his arms, crying out his names, his body shadowing the smirk of victory from the other investigators. But that wasn't what had happened, he had won, using Near, using Mello. Something was wrong, he saw himself pitched forward into the darkness, coming to stare at a tall majestic being, with eyes of intelligence. The man gave off a radiance of glory and fearfulness, but when the man looked at him, in the eyes, he saw souls, souls of the criminals Kira had killed. They were skeletons, clawing at his feet, and a recognizable form walked towards him. It looked very similar to himself, but it was not L, it was a man by the name of Beyond Birthday. He had blood red eyes, and stared at L, a grin plastered on his face, and it sickened him.

"Forgot something, Lawiet?" he spat acid, and the skeletons clawing at him, trying to pull him down. L sank into the skeletons grabbing him, pulling him down, their bony fingers crawling up his leg. L stared at him, and the man walked through the skeletons, who attempted to pull him down. He pushed L down into the skeletons, and he sank like mud. Finally, L showed his emotions once, and screamed, but his voice was unheard. He was enveloped in darkness.

He woke up, breathing hard, sweat covering his face, extremely shaky. A recognizable man walked through the entrance. Chiron, smiled, his warm brown eyes staring at his own. "Have a good sleep, L?"

"I'd prefer you not call me that, I'd like to go by the name Ryuuzaki,"

"Of course," he smiled, all of a sudden, "I'll have to take you to the main house, and there we discuss, it's tradition for all campers, even though you accepted it pretty quickly."

"I'd be glad to go," He stood up, his legs quivering under his body, having been unused for several months. Ryuuzaki walked out to the porch that wrapped around to the farmhouse. They walked together, as Ryuuzaki absorbed the scene of the sea, and the small dots of buildings, mostly of ancient Greek architecture. An open hair pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena, their white marble columns, glittering in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school aged kids and satyres played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and some of them had wings.

Down at the end of the porch, Annabeth and a man and a boy, whom Ryuuzaki did not recognize, were sitting down playing cards. The man was small, but porky. A red nose, big watery eyes, and curly black hair, that was blacker than Ryuuzaki's it was almost purple instead of the slightly blueish color Ryuuzaki had on his own. He wore a tiger pattern Hawaiian shirt, and had beige shorts. The boy had curly brown hair, very dark skin, and a whispy beard. He was a saytr, by the looks of it, wearing the orange T-shirt, that suggested he was also a camper.

"Now we have four for pinochle," the man said, indicating the two chairs, one of which was obviously for Ryuuzaki, and one of which was for Chiron. He glared at Ryuuzaki for a moment.

* * *

(**to first person, once again :D**)

"Oh, I suppose, I must say it. Even the gods respect you, Lawiet, and Athena wishes that you were her own child, and it's a bit ironic because you are a demi-god. Welcome to Camp-Half Blood," I winced at him throwing out my name like that, and I hadn't heard it for so long it was a bit creepy.

"I'd prefer you not throw my name out like that," I replied, calming myself from panicking. How does this guy know my name?

"Annabeth, my dear, could you check on Ryuuzaki's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now," the blonde girl stared at me. Perhaps she had noticed that the damn man over there had said that even the gods respected me. I knew she was going to jump on it later. She walked away. "This, is Mr. D, our camp director, and this is Grover," he introduced the man and boy to me.

"Hello," I said, looking at the boy, then to the man. I knew better than to ask for his name, for even I attempted to hide my name.

"Hello," the goatman nervously replied.

"So, the legendary L comes to our camp, eh?" Mr. D chuckled as though it were some big joke.

"Sir, if you would please, call me by the name, 'Ryuuzaki,'" I said, sighing. The can that I did not notice before, that was being chewed on by the boy, fell out of his mouth, his mouth ajar.

"You're L?" he asked. I gave an annoyed glance to the camp director.

"If you would please keep it a secret, I have many enemies already out there trying to kill me," I said as calmly as possible.

"Grover, are you playing or not?"

"Yes sir!" the saytr trembled, as Mr. D dealed the cards. I wondered why Mr. D was so intimidating.

"Watari was a saytr?" I asked watching Chiron carefully. I was not one to normally ask questions, but in this case...

"Yes, usually people that go to Wammy's house are Athena's children. So someone had to protect it, not to mention, the people that became L before you, also had to be protected. So there are two saytrs at Wammy's house, until you gave us the devastating news that Watari had died."

"So you're going to find a replacement saytr to protect my successor?" I asked, sighing, thinking about Near and Mello, who had both brilliantly carried out their plans.

"It will be hard, but I am sure there are a few that would like to watch over L,"

"Ruykazi, are you bidding or not?" I stared at him for a bit. I sighed, not bothering correcting him.

"Yes," I placed my bid. Mr. D waved his hand, and a glass of wine appeared. My eyes widened, but then they narrowed, analyzing this.

"Mr. D, your restrictions," Chiron said, barely looking up. D, wine appearing, then that meant... Dionysus. The man looked at the wine in feigned surprise.

"Dear me," he looked at the sky, and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!" A bit of thunder. He waved his hand, and the wineglass changed into Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to the game.

"Mr. D offended his father a while back, took fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off limits."

"I see," I bit my thumb, looking at my cards.

"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. First time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! and the second time, well, she was really pretty, and I couldn't stay away, and he sent me here. Half Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha! Absolutely unfair." he pouted like a six year old child.

"Well, I should be leaving now, after all, I am fired," I raised an eyebrow.

"At least finish this game," he sighed.

"Fired?" I asked.

"Thiala's tree was poisoned, and I have a bit of time to say good-bye. At least I got to meet the legendary L," he said, smiling a bit. What was the feeling? Guilt? No, I had felt guilt, but this was, sympathy, for the man I hardly knew.

Another round of bidding. Finally, Mr. D laid down his hand, "I believe I win."

"Not quite Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied three points, and said, "The game goes to me."

"I wouldn't say that just yet, Chiron, I believe, that it's my win," I smiled. The three sitting at the table, their mouths dropped open. Grover simply gagged on his aluminum can, Mr. D looked ready to murder, and Chiron looked remotely surprised.

"Well, good luck at this camp, Ryuuzaki, I bid my farewell," Chiron got up, became a centaur, and said, "Annabeth will take it a bit harshly, but it's okay. She'll still show you around, I hope." Suddenly, Mr. D looked ten times as happy as he was before, "Haha! The old fart is gone! We're gonna have _fuuuuuuuuuuun!_"

"Oh, Mr. D? Behave yourself," a voice was heard yelling towards the main cabin. I sighed. The three of us got up from our chairs.

* * *

In the end, Annabeth did show me around, she showed me the volleyball courts and everything. And all the cabins and everything were explained. But a single question came to mind, "Why doesn't Hades have a cabin?"

Annabeth's face darkened, "Well... Hades sorta does his own thing. He doesn't have a throne in Olympus either."

"And you have an empty Zues, Hera, and Poseidon cabin for respect, shouldn't Hades have one? He is a god... after all," I wondered why I was defending his rights. She looked away.

"I don't know..."

Cabin number five was bright red, and the most attention catching. It the greatest paint job, being sort of splashed with buckets or fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire, and a stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, it's eyes following my every movement. A ton of kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestled, argued, and chaos happened, while music blared. The loudest perhaps, was a girl thirteen or fourteen. She stared at me, and gave a sneer. A small image appeared in front of her face. Beyond Birthday, his face dripped with either strawberry jam or blood, smiling at me. She was bigger than me, but perhaps younger.

"Ryuuzaki, sorry, but I need to get Percy, head to the Hermes cabin, they'll tell you what to do," Annabeth said, running off. I looked bewilderingly at her departing figure.

"Percy Jackson?" the name just came to the top of my head.

"Yeah, you know him?" the girl striding over asked, "that boy, taking all the attention last year..."

"The boy who ran away from home? I saw a case on him," I bit my thumb slowly, holding onto my back with my other hand, "figured it must be one of those boring cases."

She sniggered, "Why do you walk like that?"

"Like what?"

"Ya know," she did a poor imitation of my leaning over habits.

"Is it bad?" now the girl was looking at me like I was from outer space.

"Um... not really, but it looks weird,"

"I see... is that bad?"

"Erm... not really."

"Oh... you're strange,"

"Oh," I replied, not exactly knowing what to say, "so which one is the Hermes cabin again?"

* * *

As soon as I stepped into the cabin, many pairs of blue eyes turned towards me, and an impression of golden hair lasted. Well, only half of the cabin had golden hair and blue eyes, the rest were all randomized, like a normal community.

"Hello," I waved, a gesture I learned after a while.

"Who are you?" someone finally broke the silence.

"Well... I believe this is the place in which all undetermined people go?"

A bunch of people groaned, and mutterings about, "already full" and "too many," were heard.

"Is it?" I asked, a bit impatient.

"Yeah, you can have that spot right there," they indicated an empty spot on the floor. I wasn't used to such a cramped place, living in hotels and such, but this was pretty claustrophobic. But unfortunately, it looked like they were going to take it up when I left, and I had no such thing to occupy it. I sighed.

"I'll sleep outside,"

"There are harpies to eat you if you don't stay within curfew," someone else said. I sighed again.

"Any spots on the roof?" all of them looked surprised, "never thought of that..." a mutter was heard.

"Must be a child of Athena," someone joked.

"Well, you can't exactly get out onto the roof without climbing on it."

"We can ask the Hephaestus cabin to build us a hatch,"

"What if it rains?"

"Erm... not sleep on the roof?"

"Make a balcony,"

"How do we know their going to agree?"

"We don't but it's worth trying,"

"Sign a petition!" someone yelled out suddenly.

"Yeah!" another agreed. Then the whole cabin was laughing. I didn't get what was so funny.

"Uh... listen, I don't have a futon or anything," I knew what low, middle class in Japan slept in, I only assumed the same for the Americas.

"Futon?"

"You Japanese?" someone asked, within the crowed.

"I lived primarily in Japan in the later years of my life,"

* * *

(a while later ((Trying to skip to the main point in the sea of monsters)))

Ryuuzaki sat perched at the edge of the roof, like an eagle, his black eyes, scanning the hill below him. He bit his thumb, looking like he was going to fall headfirst any moment. But despite how many people stared at him, he would not fall over. The smell of smoke was suddenly in the air. Having shown no movement before, his head whipped over to where the hill that had Thiala's tree on it, was. And the people who had been staring at him before, fell backwards a bit, in surprise that he moved so suddenly.

Ryuuzaki stared, nothing much ever caught his interest, being tired of the same thing, but these were as surprising as Shinigami. Ryuuk's looks had certainly surprised him. These were bulls, the size of elephants, and bronze, blowing fire, burning up grass as they went. Many people appeared to been trying to hold them back.

Ryuuzaki knew he couldn't just charge in, for he had no weapon. But he could at least watch, from a distance, where there was a thirty percent chance he'd be caught in the crossfire. But it would become more accurate as he went closer.

He jumped off the roof, landing straight in front of the people. He ran towards the scene quickly, wondering what it was. As he arrived, he was out of breath, but staring up the hill, at the two bronze creatures that were fighting Claresse and her friends.

He decided he had to get out, from the distance he was in, judging by what the bulls have done so far. But if they came charging, he could sidestep. That was easy enough, but as for avoiding the flames, it was an eighty three percent chance he'd get hit.

"PERCY NEEDS HELP!" a loud voice was heard. Some gorilla man jumped in between a large flame and some kid named Percy, perhaps. Percy Jackson, eh?

"Tyson!" Percy yelled.

A huge column of flames, and everyone knew the boy was dead. But instead, the gorilla man survived, and he was perhaps dull, because he yelled, "BAD COW!"

And he punched _in _the snout of the cow. Ryuuzaki's thumb dropped out of his mouth falling limply to the side. Pretty amazed. Many interesting things.

Then once again, the man hit the bull once again, crumpling it like aluminum foil.

"Down!" he yelled. The bull was completely smashed as the man hit it again. Ryuuzaki noticed, Annabeth ran up to Percy, giving him a drink, perhaps nectar.

"The other bull?" the boy asked.

Annabeth pointed to the already defeated bull by Claresse. Yes, I stood absolutely no chance against her.

"You. Ruin. Everything! I had it under control!" Claresse yelled. Percy just sat there. Annabeth grumbled and muttered something that Ryuuzaki couldn't hear. He trudged over to where the three were.

"Claresse, you've got wounded campers,"

"I'll be back," the girl I didn't exactly like very much, trudged off.

"You didn't die."

"I am sorry. Came to help. Disobeyed you."

"My fault," Annabeth said, "I had no choice. I had to let Tyson cross the boundary line to save you. Otherwise, you would have died."

"Let him cross the boundary line? But-"

"Percy, have you ever looked at Tyson closely? I mean... in the face. Ignore the Mist, and really look at him."

Percy looked at the gorilla man in the face, and so did Ryuuzaki. He felt it was a bit hard, but he glared into it, and found himself looking at an eye.

"Well, that is interesting," he muttered to himself.

"Oh hey, Ryuuzaki," Annabeth said to him.

"Hello," he replied, staring at Tyson, "a cyclops. What's your name?"

"Tyson," the cyclops said shyly.

"Tyson..." Percy just realized, "you're a..."

"Cyclops," Ryuuzaki deadpanned, once again.

"a baby, by the looks of it," Annabeth said.

"Who're you?" the boy asked him.

"The person about to track you down because you ran away from home,"

"Huh?"

"Last year, if I was in a coma for at least several months, you ran away from home,"

"Track... me down?"

"I am a detective, Mr. Jackson, but it was perhaps a boring case, I have no idea why it was even within my files, I catch mainly serial killers,"

"Oh..." he looked away awkwardly. Ryuuzaki laughed to himself.

"How did Tyson survive the fire?" Percy looked towards Annabeth.

"He's a Cyclops," for the fourth time, deadpanned, "they worked in the forges of the gods, they have to be immune to fire, that's what I was trying to tell you." The hill was pretty ruined with fire, and people were being treated.

Claresse came back, wiping the soot off of her forehead, "Jackson, strange guy, c'mon, we gotta get the wounded back to the Big House, we have to let Tantalus know what happened."

"Who?" I asked at the same time Jackson asked, "Tantalus?"

"The activities director,"

"Isn't Charon the activities director? Where's Argus? Head of security. He should be here."

"Argus was fired. You have been gone too long. Things are changing,"

"But Chiron, he's trained kids to fight monsters for like... three thousand years, he can't just be gone, what happened?"

"That happened," Claresse snapped, pointing to Thiala's tree. Only Ryuuzaki had no idea what was going on, and he didn't like it.


End file.
